Expectation

Photo Copyright Margot Potter 2006

I've had a long week.  I think too much.  I think too much and overact too quickly.  I'm hypersensitive and prone to melodramatic explosions. I have a deeply rooted desire to 'give the world a Coke and furnish it with love' and that can lead to my rose colored glasses being a lot too rosy.  Then when something happens to knock them off I'm shocked and dismayed to see that what seemed so rosy was really rather not.

Gifts should have bows on them, but they should not have strings attached.  It is good to do for others and it is good to be giving, but you don't have to give it all away and if you do and you get screwed in the process you have no one to blame but yourself.  Nobody owes you anything. If you do for others, you should do it because it feels good and if they turn around and hurt you, and they might, you still did the right thing.  The wheels of karma will make the adjustment.

Expectation is a slippery slope and one I upon which I am trying not to slide anymore.  That is going to begin with remembering not to give it all away.  Don't give anything away if you can't afford to completely release it. Don't give anything away you can't afford to lose. That also goes for lending and sharing.  Don't lend or share anything you can't afford to lose.  No, seriously.  I mean stuff, I mean information, I mean contacts, I mean connections, I mean friends...

...you get my point.  That's not to say don't give, just don't give it all away and then be indignant when it's all gone.  Don't be afraid to say, "No." 

Even when it feels like it's true, the truth is everyone is not out to get you. Everyone is out to get theirs. You aren't even on their radar.  So if you've invited them to the party and they bogart the appetizers or steal the silverware or pee in your pool, simply take them off of the guest list. 

I am trying to learn how to give freely without giving it all away.  I am trying to find the balance between paying it forward and draining my favor bank.  I am trying to remember that I can't live my life expecting others to make me happy.  Happiness is not a reaction to external stimuli, it's a choice.  I don't need to buy the world a Coke or furnish it with love.  The best way to spread joy is to live joyfully and to let go of  attachment.  The best way to furnish the world with love is to start with your own living room.  You can love others without showing your panties to everyone that asks.

xoxo
Madge