Mea Culpa

Image Copyright Gil Elvgren

Four years ago, I dipped my toes into the blogosphere with my other blog, The Impatient Blogger. No one knew me yet, I'd just published my first book. I wasn't really on the radar, which meant I could pretty say anything I liked. So I did. I blogged on a daily basis and it was totally unfiltered and a heckuva lotta fun. Since I wasn't internet savvy, I didn't really know how to get my blog out there and get it noticed. That really didn't matter to me at the time, I was blogging as a way to prove to myself that I had the discipline to sit down every day and write something.

As I began to unlock the secrets of getting my blog on search engines, I quickly discovered the power of the internet. Suddenly people were emailing me, telling me how much I inspired them. I was being featured on other blogs and websites. People were leaving wonderful comments and I was becoming a part of this fascinating online community of writers and artists and visionaries. Here I was, in my little schoolhouse, connecting with people from all over the world. Amazing. The flip side of all of this was, as my name began to become known in the craft industry, craft industry people were finding my blog. These people were totally shocked at my potty mouth, my liberal feminist rants, my frank sexual talk and my completely unfiltered and transparent sensibility. I guess, in some weird way, I was creating my own internet reality show. I don't even like reality shows. But I am a Leo. We do love the spotlight.

Some people loved it, some people hated it and some people warned me to be careful. They pointed it out to me that the craft industry was generally conservative and I might be putting my brand at risk. It was a weird time because there was this edgy Bust magazine, DIY movement burgeoning and they were decidedly unlike traditional crafters. So I was straddling the fence a bit. Did I make myself less...myself...to please the conservative craft industry, or did I let my freak flag fly and resonate with the Indie crafter? I had far more in common with the Indie crafter, but I was trying to build a viable, marketable, license friendly craft brand. Ah, the dilemma.

People were reading themselves into the posts and suddenly I was getting frantic emails from folks who thought I was talking about them negatively. Family and friends were upset about personal things I shared online. I pissed a lot of people off. Looking back, I understand. Even when I wasn't meaning to upset them, my conversational, stream of consciousness writing was so personal, people took it personally. My posts were getting picked up and my traffic was increasing and I began to feel really exposed, like a girl in her panties who turns around to see the curtains suddenly opened. So I copied every single blog post into a folder on my hard drive and I took four years of writing down. Just like that. Then I started this blog. This happy little craft blog.

This blog gets a nice steady traffic of folks who want crafty projects and advice. Still, even here, my transparency can, on occasion, get me into trouble. I shoot from the hip and that isn't always comforting or comfortable. I hurt people's feelings sometimes and I feel badly about that. I certainly never, ever, ever want to hurt people's feelings. Just thinking about that makes me sad. Words can be weapons, even when we don't mean them to be. That's something we all need to take to heart.

The problem with the internet and with email is that the written word lacks inflection. So even though we're typing things with our voice in our head as we type, people can't hear that voice when they read. Our intended sarcasm may come off as mean spirited and bitchy to someone reading. Unless we say, ho ho or add a smiley face, people can (and they will) take our words literally. I try to remember that...but I'm a sarcastic gal with a snarky sense of humor and a biting wit. My brain moves fast and I say things sometimes before filtering them. It's funny when you're standing next to me, but it can be not so funny online.

I could play it safe. I know plenty of folks who do. But I kinda feel like the internet is about sharing more of who you really are. That makes people feel connected to you. That can be a good thing...and not so much. So, please know, that I will always shoot from the hip and try as I might to filter that, the older I get, the less interested I am in pretending to be something I am not. The internet has created a Brave New World and all of us are going to have to learn how to navigate that. It's important to think twice before you blog, leave comments in forums or on social networking sites or blogs. When you do that, especially if you are being mean spirited, you've left a negative footprint that can not be erased.

Be real, but be kind. That's the point. Get the facts straight before you speak, but also before you get offended. Everyone isn't out to get you. Really. It is my intent, in every thing that I do, to make everyone feel welcome, inspired, embraced and appreciated. If I fail in that effort on occasion, I am truly sorry.

Love
Madge