LOK KYA KAHENGEY..........................?

SHOULD I BOTHER?

22nd,july,2009.

Wednesday

7p.m

Dear friends,

Good evening.after the much discussed solar eclipse,the daily routine started late.good,few more hours for extra sleep,and i loveto sleep in the early hours of the morning.there is no rain today,and the moment,the showers stop,one feels hot.

Every day can't be cheerful,bright n happy.it happens often.for no reasons we feel low.you want to run away from people.you want to be in your cocoon.

Often,right from childhood we have confronted with the question,lok kya kahenge?born n brought up in an ancestoral tharavadu,atleast thousands of times i was reminded about my reputation in the society,the image people have about me and the values by which i must live.we were told what dress suit us,how to walk without making noise and to laugh silently!i don't know why,i always liked to question certain things,may be the injustice practised,the strict discipline to be followed by the fairer sex in the society,etc''.good girls keep away from boys;don't mingle much.you must be disciplined.speak in a soft voice;obey elders.don't shout.don't question elders.''hundred n one dos n don'ts.i'mnot blaming.elders know what is better for us;and they are really concerned.but when we grow as teens,the urge to question arises!then we are labelled as the rebels.at times,i was fed up of the pretensions.i wanted to be transparent,the out spoken and the straight forward.at least through posts,i thought i could write what my heart says .again often i was reminded,''lok kya kahenge?''

it really hurts me.and if i am frank,it may hurt others.that anu can never do.i have no plans of making any big move.i like to respect the feelings n emotions of others.but i have self respect too.i believe in my identity.i don't like others hurt my sentiments.it's very disturbing.then i spend my lonely hours in my balcony enjoying the waves of the sea.i can communicate very well with the rising waves.i admire the beauty of the green hills on both the sides!that's the way to cheer up!

I hear i don't please you,

Iwill not,let me have my own ways;

wherever you walk,in this stormy night,

i will be following you,

but i will be invisible.

i want to live my life the way i want,

but never once i did or tried;

and if at all i took one step;

hundreds of problems arose before me;

in your tears n in your laughter,

deep at nights n during days,

i spent my time with you;

but you took me for granted.

i sacrificed my joys;

they were not appealing to you,

i wanted to sing loudly,

you never allowed to raise my voice;

i was taught what to talk,

as they were music to your ears;

and what i wanted to tell,

got chocked in my throat.

in the blank desert of the night,

my soul has lost its guiding light.

you gave me the dreams ,

and asked me to dream,

my own dreams,where are they?

i know,life won't be the same anymore,

i had prepared myself for the same.

along the stubbled fields of paddy,

scenting the jungle's breath washed by the rain,

through the moist grass,

splashing water sideways,

let me walk the slippery path,

i enjoy my loneliness ,now.

but once for all,i may ask you,

leave me alone on my way.....

you can never hear me in silence,

rushing towards the pleasures of life,

you won't get time

to look back at me just once,

and you often forget,

you loved me once ,so dearly.

once more,i tune the strings,

of my sitar,my song once more i sing.

my last gift i offer you,

and a BIG GOD BLESS YOU!

it's anu signing off........................

updating a local event,

on the day of the 'aitar pujan',the women consider the sundays auspicious to worship the Sun God.the women who will perform this puja wake up early in the morning and go to collect various types of leaves needed in the puja from the nearby forest after bathing.they will have only one meal that day.at the place of the worship,a 'kalash'[pot] filled with fresh water is placed.a coconut surrounded by mango leaves is placed on the 'kalash'.attractive rangoli designs are made around the 'kalash'. then the puja starts.Almost all the days of the days of this month are auspicious and most of the hindus go vegetarian for the entire duration of the month.

before,i conclude,i really feel i must express my sincere feelings for my good friend.

dear my friend,i must thank you for these lovely images and today for being with me to cheer me up and make me smile;D and i do believe,you have this magical wand of sincerity in your friendship.and today,i felt it more.hey,you proved,''a friend in need is your friend indeed.''

and the dedication is.....................

chembakame..............................chembakame............................

it's raining..................wishing you a cool night.............anu loves all of you.

sasneham,

anu