(Today's blog is rated R for language. You have been duly warned. I'm quoting someone here, but honestly Madge has a potty mouth even though she's been trying very hard to keep it in check.)
I waited tables for twelve long years. I also was a manager and a hostess and an occasional bartender. During those twelve years I worked at diners, cafes, steak houses, fine dining establishments...and I was faced with one of the most stressful jobs and some of the most stressful situations imaginable. Because I was a good waiter, I was often slammed with far too many customers and far too little help from management. People get a little snarky if you can't attend to them.
What I came to realize was that people weren't really there for the food, they were there because they wanted to feel pampered, valued and...loved. They wanted to feel important. So if you were too busy to pamper them, they felt under valued and unloved. When trouble would arise, I'd deal with it head on. I'd take the plate away and come back and kneel down so we were face to face, put my hand on their arm and I'd look them in the eye and I'd ask, "What can I do to make you happy?" This almost always completely shifted the dynamic. But sometimes no matter what you did, there was no way to make a customer happy. If they went from unhappy to abusive, I fired them. Yup. I did. Contrary to the popular cliche, the customer is not always right.
I spent a summer working at a small cafe called The Snow Lion at the foot of the Berkshires owned by a Tibetan Buddhist named Kitch Lee. Because this was a tourist area, sometimes entire busloads of people would pull up to the cafe and it would be just me and the diabetic chef who occasionally wandered off because he had insulin issues. I was the waiter, cashier, busser and dish washer. When the place was slammed, it was insane. On one occasion I was so busy, I was beyond my ability to serve anyone. A woman came in the front door and was waiting to be seated. I was taking orders, pouring coffees, delivering food and ringing out a long line of customers at the register. I acknowledged this woman several times over what was probably a five minute wait at the door and said I'd be there as soon as I could.
She became more and more agitated until she burst out "Why are you ignoring me?"
Everyone in the restaurant got quiet.
"I'm really not ignoring you, I'm just insanely busy. I will be with you in just a moment."
"YOU ARE PURPOSELY IGNORING ME! I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER IMMEDIATELY!"
Now at this point it was clear that this woman was really angry about something entirely unrelated to not being able to sit down. She stormed over to the register and got right in my face demanding to see the manager. At this point I was pissed off. How could this woman not see that I was overwhelmed and that she was not any more or any less important that the restaurant full of customers?
"I am the manager. If you'd like to speak with the owner, he's here in the evenings. I wasn't ignoring you, I'm just busy." I snapped.
She stormed out threatening to get me fired and slamming the door behind her.
I felt awful. Was I wrong? Should I have made everyone else wait while I cleared a table for this woman? I told my boss when he came in because I was afraid this woman really was going to get me fired.
Kitch stared at me for a moment, sighed and smiled and then he said, "You tell her...fuck off."
My jaw dropped and we both burst out laughing.
Service matters, but it's not a one way street. If you want good service, you need to be a good customer. You're creating a relationship and you get what you put into it. It's not about the food, it's about feeling valued.
Why am I sharing this story? Because I think designers often feel as if they have to bend over backwards for clients, manufacturers and publishers and they're so busy trying to please them that they forget to ask for what they deserve. You have to remember that it's a relationship and that you both want to be valued. You have to assess your client and their needs and tailor your designs and your correspondences to suit their personalities. You have to treat them with respect by meeting deadlines and creating quality work. You have to treat yourself with respect and value your time. Seriously. Is it worth ten dollars, twenty dollars, fifty dollars an hour?! Think about it, deeply. Your clients need to treat you with respect by paying you well and on time and treating your design work with the care it deserves. It's a relationship. People want to feel valued.
And if they treat you like crap even after genuine efforts to create connection...just remember what Kitch Lee said, "You tell them...fuck off." And you can do that figuratively and with love and intention my friends.
Sometimes love is a rubber biscuit to the forehead.
When you allow someone to abuse you, you're not doing them or yourself any favors.
Life is too short to allow people to rain on your parade.
xoxo
Madge
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