Dah penat cerita serious, mari kita baca amaran dari Doktor Quack ni.
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; it's like saying you extend the life of a car by driving faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat a chicken. Beef also is a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100 per cent of recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise programme?
A: I can't think of single one, sorry.
My philosophy is: No pain.... good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated by it.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HARRROOOW!! Cocoa bean!
Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Canai in one hand - sweet teh tarik in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND...
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat,
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat,
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine ,
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine,
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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Blackberry nak keluar BlackPad - minggu depan!
Baru ni saya ngobrol tentang competitor iPad - dari Toshiba, Samsung, HP, Lenovo.
Kini ada spekulasi Blackberry pun nak lancar device ini. Sini, sini dan sini (gambar-gambar tu semua wartawan main teka-teka saja).
Syarikat Canada, Research In Motion yang mengeluarkan Blackberry - yang hampir membunuh Nokia dan smartphone lain yang menggunakan Windows software - dah pun ada Blackberry dengan touchscreen. Seperti Storm dan Torch.
Jadi depa hanya perlukan keluarkan mesin yang lebih besar. Katanya screen 7inci, berbanding dengan hampir 10inci untuk iPad.
Kita tunggulah brader.
Untuk penjual notebook (laptop kecil) adanya iPad dikhuatiri akan membunuh market notebook ini.
Untuk pengguna biasa seperti kita, tak kisahlah siapa yang mati. Asal kita dapat mesin lebih ringan, pantas dan murah nak digunakan.
Software Windows ni misalnya, bukan bagus ke mana. Bila kita tekan 'On' button kat PC di rumah atau pejabat, kena tunggu 2-3 minit nak upload. Sedangkan iPad secara automatik terus hidup dan sedia nak digunakan.
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