The Wanting

I did a little bloggy template change yesterday, really I need a custom template.  Really I need a new website and a custom blog template and it all needs to coordinate visually.  Really I need a cash influx of about 1000 bucks so I can fix all of these things...and/or a serious html and Photoshop cramming session so I can DIY my own solution.

While I'm here I could really use a sudden and inexplicable loss of ten pounds and a Mac.  I could also use a bizarre physical condition that allows me to continue my love affair with butter and cheese without my arse paying the debt.  I wouldn't mind having my student loan paid off and my mortgage rates lowered.  I'd prefer a tropical locale for my studio and home.  Oh heck let's go for broke, how about a cure for cellulite and a cabana boy to serve me tasty beverages in pineapples?

Don't get me wrong, please.  I realize that these things are of little importance compared to what many, many other people need.  Like the people in Haiti who need food and shelter and medical care.  Or the people across the globe who struggle every day just to survive.  Or the people in my own town who are struggling with whether to pay the mortgage or buy food.  I am blessed in so many, many ways and I wake up every day with gratitude.  I've been in the place where I couldn't afford to eat, or pay the rent, or see a doctor and I know that there is nothing worse than feeling totally out of control.

Nothing. 

Yet I still find myself wanting...and knowing that the obtaining of said 'needed' things requires nothing more than me working a little harder and breaking through to the next level.  It's a matter of shifting my perspective and fine tuning my approach.  It's a matter of cracking the whip a little harder when I'm spending a little too much time looking at eBay ephemera auctions or staring out of the window contemplating the meaning of life.

I have three...THREE...really smart  ideas.  I need a manufacturer to partner with me so I can make them real.  I was joking at CHA that I feel a little slutty, I mean I've been dating around for the past six years but I can't seem to find anyone to commit.  Everyone is interested, but no one wants to give me their letter jacket.  Soon though...I can feel it.  I'm almost there.

Of course if I had a cash influx of say 150k...

It's okay to want and to dream and to hope, without that life quickly goes from technicolor to shades of gray.  Wanting things keeps us motivated and excited.  Having perspective on what is real and what really matters keeps us grounded.  I have at this moment everything I need.  I am happy.  I am loved.  I have a home, a family, good friends, food in my belly and a career I've built to allow me to do what I love and love what I do.  Every day I get up and I dream big and then I do the hard work it takes to make those dreams real.  I hope one day to be able to create opportunities for others to do the same.  So I work a little harder and I dream a little bigger. 

Life is large.

xoxo

Madge